How to get Your ex back
Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you put into a relationship, it will break, and sometimes it doesn’t matter whether you thought you had a stable relationship or not, it just breaks.
There are a number of reasons why relationships break and sometimes it isn’t due to anything that we do, or don’t do. It just happens.
Sometimes the breakup is a long time in the coming and like the beginning of Spring signals that large ice floes are breaking up, our relationships sometimes also these warning signs and harbingers which we can see plainly and clearly indicating that our relationship is not as sound as we might wish it to be.
And sometimes, what looks to be strong ice underfoot turns out to be thin ice and you will find yourself cast adrift in the middle of a sheet of ice that is cracking faster than you can hope to escape from. This in turn is similar to those relationships which breakup out of the blue with little to no warning about what was to happen.
All relationships are like this. No matter what you think when you first get together, you will hit a rocky patch. It’s not a matter of “if” but a matter of “when”, because this is not something that you can avoid.
People are so different, that sometimes it takes breaking up to make it easier all around for us to accept each other, and accept each other’s flaws.
Are you ready for the moment when you need to first look upon the face of your ex, the first time you will do so after your breakup? Are you ready to see him/ her every time you go out with your friends, or go out to the theater or practically anywhere else for that matter?
And what happens if you both have the same circle of friends and family, what then? Are you prepared to deal with all of this, not to mention the possibility that your ex might find a new love to take your place, or the fact that you will most likely have to fend off questions from well meaning people?
So you want to make your ex want you back… show them you are different, situations are different, you love them deeply, you can give them the world, that type of thing right? What exactly can you give them now that you didn’t before? Perhaps nothing… perhaps you feel you are good enough already and they should come back…. Why not? You love them right? Isn’t that good enough?
On the other hand you might know exactly where you slacked off in the relationship and now deeply regret it. You truly have something to prove to your ex but you’re just not sure ‘how’ exactly you’re going to do it. You also worry your ex might run off with someone else and completely forget about you. So you worry, panic, stress and end up doing a lousy job of ‘proving’ yourself.
In the end they don’t come back, they do leave you and it might take you months or even years to completely get over them.
So what went wrong? Your wish came true.
But wait, that wasn’t what you wanted! No? How often do you sit and worry about losing your ex? How much do you think about your ex moving on without you and finding someone new? Compared to perhaps how you’re going to improve and better yourself?
It’s all to do with your mindset. The mind is a powerful and mysterious thing. Everything that has happened in your life happened first from your mind. If you want your ex to want you back, you need to refocus your energy on aspects of your life that will move you in the direction that you want, instead of a direction you ‘don’t’ want.
Want to prove you’re a trustworthy person? Then start becoming honest right now starting with you. Prove to you first that you’re no longer untrustworthy, that you are changing and you’re not someone immature, misguided and misinformed.
Do this everyday, adding to the things you want to change and continue to evolve until you feel better and better each day. That is how you know you’re on the right path, that you’re willing to prove it to you first that you want this relationship back. After all you’re not a 6 year old anymore, you know that crying and moaning won’t get you what you want, to get results, you just have to do it.
But what about your ex? Won’t they move on and find someone else? You still want them back! How do you stop yourself from thinking about them and risk sabotaging your chances, what do you do!
Here’s the thing, we’ve been taught that if we want someone to like us, we need to show them we like them first, after all this is how we learned to make friends and how we get into relationships in the first place. So naturally your instinct tells you to show your ex you ‘want’ them back. But this isn’t what you ‘should’ do.
It’s hard to admit but your ex has essentially rejected you. Now if a group of people you tried to hang out with told you to get lost, would you beg them to remain friends with you? I highly doubt it.
In some weird way, you should treat your relationship with your ex the same way. No matter how the relationship ended, you should try to accept the break up as gracefully as possible.
Acting this way often will catch your ex off-guard and make them second-guess their decision to break up in the first place. In a way you still have a reasonable amount of influence over your ex even if they give off the impression they’re over you
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